Of Lightbulbs and Chickens
by NeekSociety
Summary: Crashing, hit a wall, right now I need a miracle...that verse would be the theme song for this. If this was a songfic. Which it is not. In this, Ruffnut has a "smart" idea that might not be so smart after all...and there goes Tuffnut with his chicken again...


**AN: Sooooo, this would be Heather, if you didn't notice or I forgot it in the summary. This takes place in RTTE, but spoils nothing, so if you haven't seen it, know they're 18, and Tuffnut's got a chicken, and they're on an island called Dragon's Edge. Okay, well, maybe just those minor minor spoils. The only characters present are Ruff, Tuff, Chicken, Hiccup, Astrid, Snotlout, and Fishlegs.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, or Race to the Edge, or Tuffnut's Chicken.**

It was a typical day on Dragon's Edge. Hiccup was geeking out with Fishlegs; Astrid was threatening Snotlout; and the twins were "inventing". But, with everyone else preoccupied, no one minded to tell them to stop.

"Tuff! Put down your bird and hand me that stick looking thingy!" Ruffnut called to her brother, who had been cooing to his spotted chicken.

"How dare you call Chicken a bird!" Tuffnut shouted back, hugging the chicken to his chest protectively. He then turned to Chicken and said quietly, "Don't you listen to her, Chicken! You're smart, and beautiful, and _not_ a bird,"

"Just hand me the stick! No, not that one! Not that one either! Tuff, it's the last piece, hurry up! Yes, that one! Thank Thor!" Ruffnut said, catching the stick made of Gronckle iron and snapping it into its place. They flew a couple hundred feet away on Barf and Belch, admiring their work.

It started at a steep incline dripping with Monstrous Nightmare Gel, and then a not-so-stable wooden platform with swinging maces. It then went to tarps stitches to tarps (they hoped the others wouldn't notice the missing bedding) blown up and lay between the maces and a pit emitting Zippleback gas -step on the wrong plank and...well, fire.

It went to a wall made of trees they had accidentally knocked over on their morning flight (which was the inspiration for the whole thing), and then proceeded to go to a pit of Gronckle lava with small stepping stones that kept drifting, and a tunnel you had to go through, and get past Barf and Belch, to get to the end.

"Why did we do this again?" Tuffnut asked his sister, still cradling his chicken; it had been her idea after all.

"Because if we don't have the dragons with us in combat, we'll need to be better and hand-to-hand I'm going to hurt you and get away stuff," Ruffnut explained, punching the air.

"What is this?" Hiccup asked, flying down with Toothless, who looked at the course curiously.

"Can't you just show up one minute sooner? Now I have to say it _all_ over again!" Ruffnut groaned, and explained to Hiccup.

"That -that's actually a good idea...I think," Hiccup said, eyeing the contraption skeptically, "Maybe,"

"What's all this?" Fishlegs asked, flying down with Astrid and Snotlout. Ruffnut facepalmed, and explained the whole thing _again._

"Let's do this!" Snotlout said, flexing his arms.

"Snotlout, I don't think that's such a good idea..." Hiccup said, not sure if wanted to face something the twins made.

"Oh, come on, Hiccup! Afraid to lose?" Astrid said with a smirk. That's it. He had to try now. He had to try. It was the smirk, coming from Astrid, that always made him give in.

"We, we will be the judges. The commentators!" Tuffnut said, gesturing to him, Chicken, and Ruffnut.

"Careful, Hiccup. They're stealing your dramatic flare," Astrid said, nudging Hiccup with her elbow.

"We have voted -and, Snotlout goes first," Tuffnut announced. In truth, they picked him first because they had no idea what it was going to do, and either way -win-win situation. Snotlout _had_ been thinking of eating poor little Chicken when food supply ran low...the thought still made Tuffnut shudder.

Snotlout cracked his knuckles and climbed the rickety ladder up to the top of the tower, where the Monstrous Nightmare Gel Slip'N'Slide began. Without a second thought, he slid down on his belly, head first. He spun around, arms and legs spread out, until he reached the bottom, completely coated in the green slime. He stood, shaking some of the goop off and flicking it on the ground nearby. He walked towards the maces. He ran through, and he was almost to the end, when he decided to do his victory chant.

"Snotlout, Snotlout, oi oi -" Bang.

"Mace to the head, how tragic," Ruffnut said, watching Snotlout stumble across the ground, muttering incoherently.

"Hmm...the chicken is not amused! Disqualified!" Tuffnut said, and Chicken cocked her head and clucked.

"Go' 'e 'ki'in m'!" Snotlout yelled, but no one really had a clue what he said.

"Fishelgs! Your go!" Ruffnut yelled, and Fishlegs stepped shakily up to the first "obstacle". He shut his eyes, sat on his bottom, and slid down.

"Huh. That wasn't so bad. No cuts or bruises..." Fishlegs said, checking himself over.

"Move it, Fishfeet!" Tuffnut yelled.

Fishlegs shut his eyes and ran straight through the maces.

"Chicken says that was pure luck," Tuffnut mumbled. Ruffnut just shook her head. There was no way she was losing her brother to a chicken (which was, in fact, a bird!).

"Chicken can stuff a feather in it," Ruffnut said, but Tuff didn't hear her. He was watching with wide eyes as Fishlegs, who was almost skipping across the inflated tarps. Although, he probably didn't mean to look that way. He certainly didn't look too happy to be there. The twins watched in awe as Fishlegs landed, butt first, inside the circle that signified the end. Barf and Belch had thrown him over in a state of frustration.

"Does that count?" Tuffnut asked.

"It's not against the rules we didn't write," Ruffnut said.

Chicken clucked.

"Oh, not you too, Chicken! You're supposed to be on my side! Mine!" Tuffnut scolded his feathered friend.

"Okay Chicken, who do you think is next?" Tuffnut said, holding the chicken up to his ear, "The weird one? Well they're both weird...the nerdy one?"

"Hiccup, move!" Ruffnut shouted, pointing at Hiccup.

Hiccup went down the Nightmare Gel incline no problem, and past the maces easily. The tarps however, proved to be a problem. The second he stepped on one, his metal leg sunk into it, letting all the air out and leaving him trapped under a heap of sheets.

"Astrid! Your go! Hiccup -you're disqualified!" Tuffnut shouted.

Astrid made it past the maces and incline quickly, but stopped at the tarps. One was popped and housed Hiccup, and she doubted she could jump that far. She looked down, seeing Toothless trying to claw Hiccup out.

"Toothless! Come 'ere!" Astrid called, and the Night Fury climbed up to stand near Astrid.

"Toothless! You traitor!" Hiccup's muffled yell came.

Astrid opened the tail wing for Toothless, and flew across everything, shooting at the Zippleback to get through the tunnel.

"Toothless!" Hiccup yelled, hopping over on one leg; his prosthetic had been broken.

"Ouch. Your dragon left you for your girlfriend. Harsh world," Ruffnut said, trying to hold back her laughter.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Was all Hiccup replied with.

"We have our suspicions! You cannot hide the truth from us forever, Hiccup!" Ruffnut yelled, brandishing her index finger.

"Well, since Hiccup and Snotlout didn't make it through, and Astrid cheated, the winner is...Chicken!" Tuffnut announced.

"What?" Everyone said at the same time, although Fishlegs' voice was the loudest.

"What? Look at her! She's just more fabulous than Fishlegs! Aren't you, Chicken? Yes you are,"

 **AN: Okay...I thought this was average quality...my sister did not seem to think so...so I ask you, keep quiet if you think it sucks. I have a habit of deleting stuff that generates too much hate (can you blame me?). I might consider in making this a two part story, if anyone likes this segment. It wouldn't still be on the exact same topic...maybe them getting back at Ruffnut and Tuffnut? Or Ruff and Tuff getting back at them? So please, if you have a kind word to say, do so. If it's constructive criticism, I'll take it and look into some edits. If it's a brandish your pitchfork review that stabs and makes you bleed until your skin is sickeningly pale, keep it in your mind and click the back button. And once again, this is a joint account, so not everything posted is by me.  
One more thing: the main purpose of this was not the course. It was the conversations it generated. I thought it would be funny, but I've learned not to judge stuff myself.**


End file.
